i will never coherently bang her
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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