all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
