You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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