Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
