I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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