Duck Duck Cougar?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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