Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
