I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
