Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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