Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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