I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
