hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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