the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
