I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
