i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I think your dad took our porno
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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