He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
