I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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