Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
