Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
