It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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