the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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