good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
im holly from the hills drunk
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
