I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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