she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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