You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
