pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Mom said you looked used
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
