This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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