We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
So much Jack, so little girl.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
