Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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