If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
