while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
