glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
