You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
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