I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
