can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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