soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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