Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
