:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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