I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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