The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
