he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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