Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
