I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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