i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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