Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
