i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
