I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
