Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You were trust falling into bushes
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
