shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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