accomplished twins. life is a go
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
did you just send me my own nude
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
