Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Randomize
